Because you like Randy Marsh in South Park

Konata Izumi has a live-now, worry-later view of the world. See them in Lucky Star.

A poised, stately man-out-of-time, Ichabod Crane typically faces the modern world with wry quip. See them in Sleepy Hollow.

This barber doesn't cut hair. Sweeney Todd sends his clients down a chute to be baked into his partner-in-crime's pies. See them in Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.

With those dearest to him dead and no one to trust, Max Rockatansky is a slightly hysterical man alone on the run in a post-apocalyptic world. See them in Mad Max: Fury Road.

Morpheus is wise enough to see into the bones of the world. See them in The Matrix.

Count Olaf is a traveling actor, except he can't act and his homicidal tendencies make finding work pretty difficult. See them in Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events.

Michaelangelo is an above-ground crime-fighter by night, and a pizza-eating, sewer-dwelling mutant ninja turtle by day. See them in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Mr. Pink doesn't tip. Enough said. See them in Reservoir Dogs.

Milo Thatch is an enthusiastic researcher without cynicism. See them in Atlantis: The Lost Empire.

Donna Meagle has a Benz, a fool-proof strategy to pick up men, and the number for R&B star Ginuine's direct line. Enough said. See them in Parks and Recreation.

Amy Farrah Fowler deserves sainthood for putting up with Sheldon Cooper. See them in The Big Bang Theory.

A monstrous pirate captain, Davy Jones is quite literally heartless. See them in Pirates of the Caribbean: the Curse of the Black Pearl.