Because you like Butters Stotch in South Park

Ted is a cursing, smoking, drinking teddy bear who's anything but cuddly. See them in Ted.

With her mastery of martial arts and her prodigious building skills, Wyldstyle projects an air of invincibility. But she's not bulletproof. See them in The Lego Movie.

Dash Parr's super speed helps with his impatience. See them in The Incredibles.

Knuckles the Echidna is a 16-year-old red echidna (aka a spiny anteater) and guardian of the ancient Master Emerald. See them in Sonic the Hedgehog.

Illiterate and oblivious, Crash Bandicoot is still a hero. See them in Crash Bandicoot.

This bite-sized, power-hungry plankton is determined to uncover the secret recipe for the Krusty Krab burger. See them in SpongeBob SquarePants.

No baths please for Gary the Snail. See them in SpongeBob SquarePants.

Donna Meagle has a Benz, a fool-proof strategy to pick up men, and the number for R&B star Ginuine's direct line. Enough said. See them in Parks and Recreation.

Milhouse Van Houten is happy to be second banana. See them in The Simpsons.

The Ice King is lonely and looking for a princess to sweep him off his feet. See them in Adventure Time.

Greg Heffley will be famous someday, but now he's stuck in class with morons. See them in Diary of a Wimpy Kid.

James Gordon happens to be the one guy in Gotham City with proper morals who doesn't also run around in a cape. See them in DC Extended Universe.