Because you like Stanley Yelnats in Holes

Kesuke Miyagi is a karate expert who thinks the best way a scrawny high schooler can learn how to defend himself is by washing every surface in sight. See them in The Karate Kid.

Due to his eagerness to hang with his kids and general goofiness, Phil Dunphy comes across as the fourth child of his family. See them in Modern Family.

A cruel pirate, Captain Hook still fancies himself a gentleman. See them in Peter Pan.

Fox Mulder is a devoted believer in aliens, monsters, and that the truth is out there. See them in The X-Files.

Everyone Barney Stinson knows is getting married or pregnant. But he's just getting more awesome. See them in How I Met Your Mother.

Arguably the world's worst boss, Michael Scott is desperate for love, praise and a suggestion for an improv scene. See them in The Office.

Driven by guilt and rage, Kratos is less a man and more an unstoppable avatar of anger and hate. See them in God of War.

Leslie Burke is bold, courageous, and imaginative enough to create a world from scratch. See them in Bridge to Terabithia.

If you hang out with Bender in cool dive bars in 31st century New York, make sure you're on his "Do Not Kill" list. See them in Futurama.

Sheldon Cooper is brilliant in every way except, well, interacting with any human being. See them in The Big Bang Theory.

Topanga Lawrence has been a put-together intellectual since basically the moment she could talk. See them in Boy Meets World.

It turns out Dracula's son Alucard has some pretty severe daddy issues. See them in Castlevania.