Veronica Palmer
Photo Credit: Everett Collection

Veronica Palmer

Better Off Ted

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About Her

Grew up… in an incredibly competitive family. Veronica still feeds her sister while she sleeps so she can retain the title of “the thin sister.” The situation isn’t much better on the parental side: her father is an executive at a rival company, a situation that can be a little awkward – especially since they’re always trying to steal each other’s secrets.

Living… in an unnamed major city where Veridian Dynamics is headquartered.

Profession… president of Veridian Industries’ research and development division. Veronica works closely with Ted Crisp to create outlandish new products for the soulless super corporation. Veronica’s complete lack of conventional morality makes her an ideal Veridian employee, as she is frequently called upon to manipulate and abuse her “underlings.” 

Interests… she’s mostly focused on furthering her career at Veridian. But Veronica also occasionally moonlights as a magician’s assistant, and harbors dreams of being a singer. Of course, none of this is easy to discover. Veronica’s cold, completely socially unaware personality means that few people are able to learn anything about her outside of her working life.

Relationship status… dating a stage magician in Vegas who goes by the name of Mordor. The relationship is casual and Veronica only sees Mordor about twice a month. She keeps this relationship a secret from her coworkers because in her words, “I can't function here if people know that twice a month I put on half an ounce of spandex and hide a dove in my... let's just say it's not comfortable for me or the dove.” She has also slept with Ted, proposing they have sex after he gave a particularly concise and efficient presentation.

Challenge… making impossible things a reality. The R&D division is tasked with making executive’s half-baked fantasies come true, creating (or trying to create, anyway) everything from cowless meat to killer androids. Despite the difficulty of her job, Veronica is determined to excel and climb the corporate ladder. She is constantly looking to cut costs and make her department more efficient.

Personality… confident, no-nonsense, and ruthless. A cutthroat professional who doesn’t let little things like “morality” get in the way of making money, Veronica was born to be an executive at Veridian. She has an impersonal and steely, almost robotic, exterior. She lacks social graces, and scorns small talk and other niceties. She is cold and has very little regard for her employees’ well-being. However, this outer cruelty is not necessarily a result of malice – Veronica just truly doesn’t seem to understand emotions such as sadness or fear. Instead she refers to emotions as things like “sugar” and “drunk.” While she often leads initiatives that put the employees in danger, she isn’t totally heartless. Despite her insistence that everything she does is “for the company,” she sometimes quietly intervenes to help the other members of her department, although usually only after consultation with Ted. While Veronica doesn’t often try to be funny, her complete inability to interact like a human being combined with her insider knowledge of the ridiculous plans of Veridian Industries serve to make almost everything that comes out of her mouth hilarious.

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