Sam Weir

Living… in Chippewa, Mich., at the start of the 1980s. Sam lives for the simple things in life: watching Saturday Night Live and reading comic books. He’s a typical “geek” who hasn’t yet learned how to interact with girls.

Profession… high school freshman. Sam has some trouble fitting in at William McKinley High School, and has to deal with bullies calling him “Sam Queer.” Ah, the cleverness of young thugs.

Interests… hanging out with his fellow geeks Neal Schweiber and Bill Haverchuck. The three of them share a passion for the comedy of Bill Murray and Steve Martin, and all have trouble acclimating to their new school. But at least they have each other. “I don’t need another friend,” Sam tells his mother. “I already have two.”

Relationship Status… nursing a serious crush on cheerleader Cindy Sanders. Sam and Cindy are “just friends,” even though he finds himself doing everything he can to take their friendship to the next level. Sam, though, is still inexperienced when it comes to girls. “I’m taking Sex Ed with Mr. Fredericks,” he says. “He embarrassed me in front of the whole class just ‘cause I’m a little bit behind when it comes to that stuff.”

Challenge… surviving high school. Sam and his friends often find themselves getting abused by McKinley High’s “freaks,” the bullies and slackers who populate the smoking patio. To make matters worse, Sam’s sister has started to associate with his “enemy,” Kim Kelly.

Personality… kind, sweet, and innocent. Sam, despite his difficulty with school bullies, is still able to enjoy his life. He’s not yet overcome with adolescent angst, or worried about social pressure. Of course, there’s always sophomore year.