Hayley Smith

Grew up… in the ultra-conservative atmosphere of the Smith family home in Langley Falls, Virginia. Hayley’s parents, Stan and Francine Smith, are red-blooded Americans, both unafraid of conformity.

Living… under the thumb of her “despicable CIA fascist” father. Stan Smith is a gun-toting, freedom-loving, lefty-hating American who is quick to disagree with all his daughter’s hippie-dippie opinions. Hayley, who can’t stand narrow-minded conservatives, considers her father Enemy Number One.

Profession… community college student. Hayley hasn’t yet decided on a major, but she wants to minor in Women’s Studies. When she’s not in the library, she likes to participate in gun control rallies on campus.

Interests… smoking marijuana, unions, burning American flags, redistributing wealth, and playing guitar.

Relationship Status… in a long-term relationship with Jeff Fischer, a laid-back pushover whom Hayley enjoys tormenting. Hayley also enjoys the fact that her parents disapprove of her boyfriend, who is, like her, a wannabe hippie.

Challenge… bringing about widespread revolution. Or at least a revolution that sweeps her family dinner table. Haley can’t get a word in edgewise with her loudmouth father constantly dominating the mealtime chat.  

Personality… idealistic, sanctimonious, and incredibly annoying. Hayley may have a point with some of her liberal diatribes, but she just can’t seem to understand that the entire Smith family is a bit tired of hearing about it.