Willie T. Strokes

Grew Up... with a mean father who was drunk all the time. As Willie says, "When he wasn't busy busting my ass, he was putting cigarettes out on my neck.” In general, Willie’s life has sucked pretty hard.

Living... in Phoenix, at the noment. Willie and his partner Marcus and have hit seven cities in seven years. They have a fool-proof scheme: dress up like Santa and an elf – Willie is Santa, while Marcus is the elf – and clear the stores out. Who would suspect Father Christmas of taking their stuff? But when he’s not stealing, Willie’s living a drunken, miserable existence. And it’s starting to affect his “work.”

Profession... a mall Santa. For Willie, it's a torturous job with a set of Ten Commandments, all of which he's broken. They are: 1) No alcoholic beverages before or during your shift. 2) Know the names of your reindeer. 3) Do not smoke in your costume. 4) No swearing. 5) Absolutely no flirting. 6) Coax a smile from the child. And he can't even remember the other four. These days Willie is so drunk that he can barely maintain the act as Santa, which could raise suspicion and make it harder to steal. Marcus doesn’t like it at all.

Interests... making himself feel better. Usually he does that with booze, women, and a lot of swearing. But he’s met a kid who might even be more pathetic than he is, and he’s starting to think that maybe helping him out would be beneficial to Willie’s self-esteem – and bank account. Thurman, the kid, is naïve enough to think Willie is really Santa, and somehow he lives all alone in a nice house with only his senile grandmother. Willie could go wild in there.

Relationship Status... single. Very, very single. He was married at one point, but he’s too interested in screwing whoever will have him to stay monogamous. He even asks a kid, “Is [your grandma] spry?” Lately he’s hooked up with Sue, a good-looking woman with a Santa fetish. That’s actually going better than Willie had any reason to expect.

Challenge... surviving the Christmas season. This particular job is killing him! He's seen some pretty bad situations in his life, but nothing has ever been as bad as this. It got even worse than when he got his eye socket punched in. Even his partner, Marcus, is noticing that he’s falling apart. To top it off, the mall security chief won’t stop checking them out.

Personality... not jolly and not nice. Willie is a loser who swears too much, drinks too much, and has highly questionable morals. He’s really the last person you want around your kids. But maybe, just maybe, befriending Thurman will enable Willie to find a sliver of redemption. It certainly couldn’t hurt.