Taco MacArthur

Living... humbly in Winnetka, Ill. He lives alone but is always in close proximity to his older brother Kevin, who helps support him in his (regularly occurring) times of financial need.

Profession... unemployed. Taco doesn't typically work and usually survives on handouts from his close friends and family. He does try his hand at miscellaneous small business ventures, though, halfheartedly attempting to start a notary business and later running various unsuccessful schemes out of the back of a van. His most lucrative venture was unwittingly squatting on the domain name “cowboys.com,” which Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones then purchased from Taco for $250,000. But naturally, Taco quickly squandered the cash.

Interests... marijuana and playing music. He also likes making his own food (the “thousand-year-old egg”) and household products (such as deodorant), but shockingly it doesn’t work very well.

Relationship Status... single, but uncannily appealing to women. Taco is able to attract the opposite sex on a whim, and does so seemingly whenever he feels the urge. This has gained Taco many “Eskimo brothers,” which is Taco’s term for men who have slept with the same women as he has. But as with all other aspects of his life, he is very non-committal with his relationships and mainly focuses on short-term flings.

Challenge... gaining control of his life. It would be a major stretch to call Taco a fully functioning adult, except when it comes to finding female companionship. He is extremely naive and seems to have a very stunted worldview, for example telling Kevin, "To pay you back, I will teach [Kevin’s 6-year-old daughter] Ellie to ride a motorcycle." Then again, Taco thinks he’s doing just fine, so who are we to quibble?

Personality... child-like, goofy and usually stoned. But somehow it seems to be working for him. That’s in part because Taco is very lucky, even winning the fantasy football league that Kevin and his friends are obsessed with despite the fact that Taco knows virtually nothing about football and cares even less. People regularly give Taco credit he hasn’t earned, such as when his friend Ruxin once said of what he believed was an elaborate scheme, "Taco has organized this whole night just to mess with me and beat me this week, and I'm not going to let that guy do it. He's a sly fox." In fact Taco hadn’t given the league or Ruxin the slightest thought, yet his team won anyway. That’s Taco in a nutshell.