Stewie Griffin

Grew up… a lot in his 12-plus months on Earth. Stewie is still an infant, though he displays knowledge far beyond his year. Not only is he already fluent in English, he manages to speak it in an aristocratic accent. He’s also acquired advanced knowledge of physics, chemistry, and engineering.

Living… with the limitations of being an infant in Quahog, R.I. While Stewie is a precocious super-genius, he still succumbs to the traps of early childhood. For example, he becomes disabled with laughter when his mother Lois blows on his belly button, or when he plays peek-a-boo with his father Peter, often causing him to let out his trademark exclamation of frustration, “Blast!”

Interests… world domination. Stewie has decided to put his scientific mind to use for evil rather than for good. He decides early on that before he can take over the world, he must destroy the one person who stands in his way: his mother. “Damn you vile woman!” he shouts at Lois. “You’ve impeded my work since the day I escaped from your wretched womb!”

Relationship Status… none, obviously, though Stewie speaks of women as if he were an experienced Don Juan: “Perhaps I can move to Californ-i-ay and wrangle me a three-way with the Olsen twins.” At other times Stewie seems to be more attracted to men, or to Brian, the Griffins’ erudite talking dog and Stewie’s primary companion. Yes, this is one confused little tyke.

Challenge… getting over his mommy issues. Stewie’s obsession with harming his mother is overwhelming: “There’s always been a lot of tension between Lois and me. And it’s not so much that I want to kill her, it’s just, I want her not to be alive anymore. I sometimes wonder if all women are this difficult.”

Personality… sociopathic, manipulative and just plain evil. Stewie is out to murder his mother and take over the world. Even at age one, his diabolical nature could rival the world’s most ruthless dictators. One can only hope he’ll grow out of it.