Spamton

Profession… Shop Keeper. After being EV3RY BUDDY ‘ S FAVORITE [[Number 1 Rated Salesman1997]], Spamton G. Spamton has a new job – the Shop Keeper [[BIG SHOT!!]] of the Trash Zone. The items that he sells from his [[Home-made Storefront Site]] may constantly fluctuate in price, but their quality is always consistent: consistently [[Hyperlink Blocked]]! Spamton G. Spamton will always have A [[Specil Deal]] FOR LONELY [[Hearts]] LIKE YOU!!

Interests… sleeping in the dumpsters located in the alleyways of Cyber City, obsessing over the [Luxurious Basement Apartment] of Queen’s Mansion, making DEALS for DELICIS KROMER, reminiscing about (or fixating on) the past, and daydreaming about FREEDOM.

Relationship Status… [[BIGGER AND BETTER THAN EVER]]. Kind of. Not really. Spamton used to be a true [[BIG SHOT!!]], becoming such an accomplished businessman that he was eventually invited to stay at the Queen’s Mansion. These achievements were all in thanks to the influence of a mysterious stranger that would call Spamton on his telephone. But when the calls suddenly stopped coming, Spamton’s success went with them just as fast. With the rug pulled out from under his feet and unable to recover, Spamton was evicted from the Queen’s Mansion and left to the streets of Cyber City.

Challenge… finding a way back to FREEDOM. Frustrated by his fall from fame, Spamton is willing to try anything to rise back up to, or even exceed, the glory days of his past social and financial success. While he’s operating a business in the Trash Zone, it fails to satiate Spamton’s desire to once again be EV3RY BUDDY ‘ S FAVORITE [[Number 1 Rated Salesman1997]], missing the days where he was able TO MAKE YOUR OWN [Deals] TO CALL YOUR OWN [Shots] ¬¬¬– and he’s willing to go to immense lengths to get that FREEDOM back.

Personality… a bit eccentric, if not completely erratic. Spamton is the embodiment of spam emails, and when that is combined with his complicated personal history, Spamton’s speech becomes a rapid and confusing mix of brazen deal-making, garbled nonsequiturs from online chain messages and advertisements, and out-of-context ramblings about his past. Spamton’s mood changes on a dime, flying from the over-confidence of a natural businessman to overwhelming anger and crushing moroseness in the face of the unexpected downward turn his life has taken. Spamton’s ceaseless desire to MAKE A DEAL to change his unhappy circumstance can make him come off as desperate, if not outright threatening.