Selina Meyer

Living… at Number One Observatory Circle NW, Washington, D.C. No, Selina’s not bitter at all about not living in the White House. As Walter Mondale’s wife Joan once said about the Vice President’s residence, “It’s a home, not an institution.” It’s much better this way. Right?

Profession… Vice President of the United States. Like many Veeps, she originally ran for President but ended up with the consolation prize. It’s one of the strangest jobs in existence; she’s a heartbeat away from being the Leader of the Free World, but until then she has little political power. Her job mostly consists of symbolic acts and photo-ops – and even those are rarely executed successfully, like the time she tried to set up the Clean Jobs Task Force. The memory of it makes her shudder.

Interests… finding out what’s being written and said about her. Since Selina doesn’t have too much direct political power, the best she can do is keep the press on her side. She’ll do whatever she can – whether it’s throwing an opening pitch at a baseball game or making an appearance on “Meet the Press.” She keeps tabs on every blog post and every tweet. She’s obsessed with her public image.

Relationship Status… divorced, but Selina’s yet to fully cut the cord. She still has feelings for her ex-husband Andrew, but most of her romantic attention goes towards her “secret” boyfriend Ted. It’s hard to keep a relationship going under intense media scrutiny, so they’re trying to keep it under wraps. The best she can do on most nights is a phone-sex session.

Challenge… maintaining at least the illusion of real power. Selina has a job no one really dreams of having. Her few attempts at substantial policy-making are ignored or condescended to by the President’s inner circle. As she once despaired during a “healthy eating” meet-and-greet: “I'm the Veep I never wanted to be. I'm talking salad wraps and body mass index to these idiots.”

Personality… vulnerable. Even in her position of power, the tremendous difficulty of getting anything done can wear on Selina’s fragile temperament. She can barely make a move without offending someone or being vetoed by the President’s staff. Still, no matter what the day’s news, she has an incredible ability to fake a smile – the mark of a gifted politician. And maybe, one day, the President will actually call her.