Sebastian Haff

Grew up... as Elvis Presley, the rock-and-roll singer. But everything started getting old. The music wasn't even his anymore. So he decided he would go to Nacogdoches in search of an Elvis impersonator he heard about named Sebastian Haff, whom he convinced to take his place. Problem is, Sebastian had a bad heart. So it was Sebastian who died, not Elvis.

Living... at the Shady Rest retirement home. Full of cockroaches and worn out furniture, it’s quite a step down from Graceland. Though he likes the other seniors there— especially an African American man who thinks he's JFK. He’s going under the name Sebastian, since the real Sebastian died with Elvis’s name.

Profession... retired. He used to work as an Elvis impersonator – after all, who could be better at impersonating Elvis than Elvis? But he had to stop after he fell off the stage and broke his hip 20 years ago.

Relationship Status... single. He hasn’t been the same since Priscilla left him. As he says, "She was the one I loved. The rest of the women are just women."

Challenge... an unwelcome visitor called Bubba Ho-Tep. Bubba Ho-Tep is a soul sucker, and he's chosen Shady Rest as an ideal hunting ground. If he comes back two or three times in a row and wraps his lips around some elder's rear end, that elder is doomed. With JFK by his side, Sebastian is going to get revenge on Bubba Ho-Tep. As he says, "I'll be damned if I let some foreign, graffiti-writin', soul-suckin', son of a bitch in an oversized cowboy hat and boots take my friends' souls!"

Personality... crazy. It’s hard to tell if anything he says is true. But for those able to suspend their disbelief and go along for the ride, Sebastian is quite an entertaining companion. And he can also be surprisingly introspective, especially when it comes to his old life. As he wonders, “Where'd my youth go? Why didn't fame hold off old age and death? Why the hell did I leave the fame in the first place and do I want it back, and could I have it back? And if I could, would it make any damned difference?”