Sam Healy

Living... an angry, sad life as a prison counselor in a loveless green card marriage. Powerless in his personal life, he overcompensates at his job by unfairly reprimanding the inmates. 

Profession... prison counselor at Litchfield Penitentiary, using an inordinate amount of his time punishing lesbian inmates. When the newest prisoner Piper dances too close to her ex-girlfriend Alex, Sam immediately sends her to solitary confinement.

Interests… collecting bobblehead dolls and keeping the peace at Litchfield Penitentiary. He’d prefer to spend more time online shopping for figurines and less time confronting his prisoners, but the women of Litchfield don’t make it easy for him. Imagine the worst boss in the world, only he tells you how to live your personal life and you can only leave when the corrupt penal system says you can.

Relationship Status... married to a Ukrainian woman with two years remaining on her green card. She doesn’t love him, and he knows it. It would be sad if he didn’t constantly redirect his anger towards his prisoners (who have it bad enough already).

Challenge... avoiding confrontation in a field where fights happen everyday. He’d rather sit in his office and file paperwork, clocking in and out, but new problems constantly fall on his desk. Whether it’s a transgender prisoner in need of hormones or a lewd picture of an inmate showing up online, his first instinct is to get rid of the problem as quickly as possible, no matter who gets hurt.

Personality... so quiet and meek that another guard regularly calls him “Samantha.” But when he has to bring the hammer down, it comes down hard. He wields a lot of power, and his personal life leaves him in need of an outlet to take out his anger. His cowardice means he can’t tell his mother-in-law to give him and his wife some space, but he can emotionally abuse a prisoner for doing almost nothing.