Ray Barone

Living… in Lynbrook, Long Island, with his wife, Debra, and their children Ally, Geoffrey, and Michael. It’s a happy enough home; the problem is the home across the street, where his parents live with his brother. They’re a little too close for Ray and Debra’s comfort. Especially Ray’s mom Marie, who still dotes on Ray but sets Debra on edge with her pushy, manipulative ways. Ray never wants to go against his mother, but Debra often forces him to choose sides. What a dilemma!

Profession… newspaper sportswriter. Ray is a columnist for Newsday. He always thought he was writing about people with cool jobs, until baseball star Barry Bonds opened his eyes. Bonds pointed out that Ray was making about $50,000 a year for writing two columns a week. That comes out to roughly a dollar a word. Every word!

Interests... sports. Yes, sports are Ray’s job, but also his biggest passion. Sitting with his brother and friends, arguing match-ups and trash-talking are some of his biggest past-times. Of course, that’s only when he can fit it in between rounds of golf.

Relationship Status… married to Debra. They’re generally happy, but it’s definitely work. As Ray once explained to his brother Robert: “Look, you want to know what marriage is really like? Fine. You wake up – she's there. You come back from work – she's there. You fall asleep – she's there. You eat dinner – she's there. You know? I mean, I know that sounds like a bad thing. But, it's not.” Debra is often upset with Ray and lets him know in no uncertain terms, though she has a point; Ray rarely offers to pitch in with housework or the kids. 

Challenge… keeping Robert out of his hair and keeping his parents at a comfortable distance. Sometimes it also seems like Debra goes out of her way to avoid having sex with him. If they’re having sex at such an abysmal rate now, who knows how bad it’ll get with age. 

Personality… comic. It’s what made Debra fall for him, but it’s also how he tries to get out of every serious conversation. He’s not good at taking a stand because he’s always observing, looking for an opening for the next joke. It makes him fun to be around, but hard to raise kids with.