Randolph Smiley

Living… in New York City. Back in the old days, Randolph used be the toast of the town, wealthy and popular. Now? Not so much.

Profession… former children’s show host. He had a great thing going until he was busted on bribery charges. Now some schmuck named Sheldon is replacing him as Smoochy the Rhino, but Randolph isn't going give up the role without a fight.

Interests… the high life— money, women, booze. And kicking Sheldon out of his rightful place.

Relationship Status… yet another thing that Sheldon has stolen. Randolph was with Nora, but now she’s with Sheldon instead. Naturally, Randolph is outraged: “I was in love with her! In love! And he snatched her away! Like a common thief! He's the bad guy! Not me!”

Challenge… getting his job back. He’s a little sleazy for the role, while Sheldon is clean as a whistle. But this is showbiz, even if it’s for kids. Randolph is hatching a couple of schemes to make Sheldon look bad— and then when he’s fired, they’ll have to ask Randolph to come back. In the meantime, he’s been voted most hated man in America. To which he replies, “In a country full of Neanderthals, I wear the f--kin' badge of honor.”

Personality… desperate and self-righteous. As far as Randolph sees it, Sheldon stole everything from him— his job, his girl, his lawyer, and his reputation. It’s only fair to steal everything back, and there’s nothing beyond the pale in his quest for vengeance.