Randal Graves

Living… in Leonardo, New Jersey. Randal tries to live the most relaxed lifestyle possible. He has always been content doing the bare minimum, and is happy as long as he can just keep scraping by in life. As long as he has movies, customers to mess with, and his best friend Dante Hicks, things are good.

Profession… clerk at RST Video, a movie rental place with such a limited stock that Randal has to go somewhere else to rent his movies. Randal is in contention for the title of worst employee ever – he is rude to customers, crude to everyone, and frequently absent from his post. The video store would be better off replacing him with a “take one” sign. Still, as boring and pointless as his job is, Randal loves it. It doesn’t ask much from him, requires zero responsibility, and allows him to work right next door to his buddy Dante. 

Interests… movies, video games, and pornography. Randal spends most of his life in deep contemplation of popular culture, searching for the answers to haunting questions such as, “would Superman’s orgasm tear Lois Lane in half?” His crude and elaborate hypothetical questions are his trademark and a constant source of amusement to himself and Dante, as they struggle to make it through their mind-numbing work days.

Relationship status… single. Randal’s romantic relationships tend to end in disaster. He is personally responsible for making several women swear off men forever. Randal doesn’t seem too torn up about his inability to create a stable relationship, and is perfectly happy meeting his sexual needs with very occasional casual sex and a lot of porn.

Challenge… managing his chronic boredom and apathy. By any traditional measure of success, Randal doesn’t have a whole lot going for him. He’s bad at his dead end job, repulses the opposite sex, and finds everything and everyone to be pretty stupid. He’s a true super-slacker, poised to accomplish absolutely nothing with his life – a fate that he is perfectly willing to accept.

Personality… rude, crude, sarcastic, and opinionated. Randal can’t speak to most people for longer than 30 seconds without offending them. He has a low opinion of almost everyone, and finds customers to be a particularly loathsome brand of human being. His only real soft-spot seems to be his friend Dante, who he calls the “yin to his yang.” Despite his affection for his best friend, Randal constantly gives Dante terrible advice and gets him into trouble, making the difference between being Randal’s friend and Randal’s enemy a little fuzzy.