Character Analysis
(Avoiding Spoilers)
Living… in South Park, Colo., with his puppets Mr. Hat and Mr. Twig, who serve as mouthpieces for Mr. Garrison’s racist and homophobic thoughts. Mr. Garrison struggles to confront his own homosexuality, and he is probably the most homophobic person in all of South Park. Consider this filibuster to his student Stan: “Gay people are evil. Evil right down to their cold black hearts, which pump not blood like yours and mine, but rather a thick, vomitous oil that oozes through their rotten veins and clots in their pea-sized brains which becomes the cause of their Nazi-esque patterns of violent behavior. Do you understand?”
Profession… fourth-grade teacher. Mr. Garrison has a remarkably unprofessional approach to teaching. He also has a degree in mechanical engineering, though he’d probably be an even worse engineer than teacher. It’s hard to say which role for him would be better, or worse, for society.
Interests… ventriloquism, S&M, and Game of Thrones.
Relationship Status… complicated. After finally accepting the fact that he is gay, Mr. Garrison enters into a relationship with his teaching assistant Mr. Slave. Soon after, he gets a sex change, and becomes extremely promiscuous. The newly christened Mrs. Janet Garrison hooks up with just about anything that moves, from truckers to the evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins. Her fling with another woman would be classified as one of her less adventurous sexual escapades.
Challenge… coming to terms with being gay without totally losing his mind. Mr. Garrison writes a best-selling novel “The Valley of the Penises” to try to prove that he’s straight, but this effort ends with him realizing that he is, in fact, a homosexual. On the heels of this epiphany, he performs a series of increasingly unspeakable sex acts upon Mr. Slave in front of the class in order to get fired, so he can sue the school for discrimination against gays.
Personality… troubled. it’s possible that Mr. Garrison suffers from multiple personality disorder. He’s had Mr. Hat since he was a kid, and he views Mr. Hat as a separate entity with a mind of his own. Years of using Mr. Hat as a proxy for his homosexuality no doubt created cognitive dissonance in Mr. Garrison’s mind – which might account for his profane, borderline-Tourette’s manner of speaking.
Get to Know him in...
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In South Park, the adventures of four young boys in rural Colorado become a means for the show's creators, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, to ruthlessly satirize current events, celebrities, politicians, and to posit their essential thesis, which is that adults are idiots. Crass and deeply perverse, South Park is not for the faint of heart, but the show's predilection for "going there" accounts for both its funniness and insightful social commentary.
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When the four boys see an R-rated movie featuring Canadians Terrance and Philip, they are pronounced "corrupted", and their parents pressure the United States to wage war against Canada.
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From the perilous battlefields of the fourth-grade playground, a young hero will rise, destined to be South Park's savior. You begin as the new kid in town facing a harrowing challenge: making friends. As you start your quest the children of South Park are embroiled in a city-wide, live-action-role-playing game, casting imaginary spells and swinging fake swords. Over time the simple children's game escalates into a battle of good and evil that threatens to consume the world. Arm yourself with weapons of legend to defeat crabpeople, underpants gnomes, hippies and other forces of evil. Discover the lost Stick of Truth and earn your place at the side of Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny as their new friend. Succeed, and you shall be South Park's savior, cementing your social status in South Park Elementary. Fail, and you will forever be known as a loser.
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Players assume the role of the New Kid, and join South Park favorites Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman in a new hilarious and outrageous adventure. Players will delve into the crime-ridden underbelly of South Park with Coon and Friends. This dedicated group of crime fighters was formed by Eric Cartman whose superhero alter-ego, The Coon, is half man, half raccoon. As the New Kid, players will join Mysterion, Toolshed, Human Kite, Mosquito, Mint Berry Crunch and a host of others to battle the forces of evil while Coon strives to make his team the most beloved superheroes in history.
