Moist von Lipwig

Living… by the grace of angels. A convicted conman, "Alfred Spangler" should be hanging at the end of a rope by now– except when the stool is kicked out from under him on the scaffold, Moist von Lipwig finds himself waking up not in the afterlife, but in the office of Ankh-Morpork's feared tyrant, Lord Vetinari. Calling himself Moist's "angel," Vetinari offers him two choices: take over the Ankh-Morpork Post Office or swing for real.

Profession… postmaster of Ankh-Morpork. It's a shabby, run-down place: two employees left, undelivered mail and pigeon droppings in every room, and so many letters stolen from the inscription outside that it's nearly unreadable. No one's believed in the post office for years, least of all Moist, but with his neck at stake, he's going to have to start trying.

Interests… a good heist. Moist loves living on the edge, and there's nowhere he'd rather being than in the middle of one of his his finely-crafted schemes.

Relationship Status… single, but hopefully not for long. Chain-smoking, crossbow-wielding Adora Belle Dearheart is every bit as vicious as her name is not– and Moist is deeply, deeply love with her. As he tells her, "I'd like to commit hanky-panky with you, Miss Adora Belle Dearheart... well, certainly hanky and possibly panky when we get to know each other better."

Challenge… reviving the Post Office while avoiding Reacher Gilt, the head of the rival clacks services. After buying the Grand Trunk Company from Adora Belle's father, Gilt had a monopoly on communications within Ankh-Morpork, and he wasn't happy to see the moribund Post Office operating again.

Personality… charming, silver-tongued, and audacious enough to try the most dangerous of schemes. By his own admission, Moist is "a natural born criminal, habitual liar, fraudster and totally untrustworthy perverted genius"– which, in Lord Vetinari's mind, makes him perfect for a government job. Moist is naturally skeptical, but to his great surprise, he quickly finds himself a natural hand at civil service. With Moist at its helm, the Post Office seems on its way to success once again– that is, if Gilt doesn't blow it up first.