Moe Szyslak

Grew up… at Camp See-A-Tree. His parents dropped him off at camp one day and never returned. Not cool. Moe took up professional boxing in his youth—possibly the cause of his ugly mug. He also stole lots of things at a young age to get by. Obviously, Moe had a tough childhood.

Living… the life he was given. With such a difficult upbringing, Moe missed out on many potential opportunities. But he’s not ashamed of his life and choices; he took the lemons and made lemonade. He opened his own bar in Springfield, and runs it with pride. A place where regulars fester and local drunks cry, Moe’s Tavern has a little something for everyone.

Profession… owner and operator of Moe’s Tavern. He’s a bartender and a businessman. When he saw his chance to renovate the place into a family restaurant, he jumped on it. He knows a good business venture when he sees one, and even though his short temper often inhibits his long-term success, he’ll always be able to fall back on the tavern, where he has a steady stream of regulars (O.K., “alcoholics”) who all know his name.

Interests… shotguns. Moe enjoys pointing his shotgun, and sometimes even discharges it to scare people. He rarely shoots anyone though. He’s all bark, no bite. And bark he does.

Relationship Status… single with few prospects. With his looks, Moe has lots of trouble getting women. He’s attracted to Marge Simpson, but she is of course happily married to Homer. Moe gets a few chances at love, but his short temper usually blows the whole thing out of the water.

Challenge… ending the prank calls to Moe’s Tavern. An anonymous caller has been pranking Moe for years. Little does he know, the culprit is none other than Bart Simpson, the son of bar regular Homer Simpson. Moe threatens to kill the kid over the phone time and again, but so far he hasn’t been able to catch him. And Moe never seems to wise up on the fact that he’s about to be pranked when he answers a strange phone call, so you can’t really sympathize with him too much. It should be pretty obvious by now.

Personality… angry, rude, and guarded. Moe has a short fuse; he’s a loose cannon. He also has very low self-esteem, which might add to his outbursts of anger. He’s known for brandishing a shotgun on a moment’s notice. And when he converted the bar into a family restaurant, he ruined the vibe by screaming at children and throwing a horrible tantrum. He does have a softer side, such as reading to sick children and the homeless, but he keeps that to himself.