Jerry Seinfeld

Grew Up... in New York with his parents Morty and Helen, who have since retired and moved to Florida. (Because when you get to a certain age, hey, it’s basically the law.) Like most things in his life, Jerry’s childhood was perfectly satisfactory. His mom especially dotes on him, frequently wondering aloud how anyone could not like her Jerry. 

Living... in Manhattan, in an apartment across the hall from Kramer. (No first name necessary; everyone just calls him Kramer.) Kramer loves to pop in repeatedly, and quite dramatically, because Jerry’s apartment is much cleaner and better-equipped than his own. Besides Kramer, Jerry spends much of his time with his best friend George Costanza – the two of them attended John F. Kennedy High School together – and his one-time girlfriend Elaine Benes.

Profession... comedian. Jerry is a successful stand-up comic who has appeared on “The Tonight Show.” Though Jerry has done well enough financially to buy his dad a Cadillac as an out-of-the-blue gift, his parents frequently worry about him and hope he’ll pick a more stable career, such as the executive-training program at Bloomingdale’s. 

Interests... keeping everything neat and clean, eating cereal, and coining catchphrases. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. 

Relationship Status... perpetually single. Jerry has no problem attracting women, but he tends to discard them for the most minor of alleged flaws. Whether her hands are too big (“man hands”), she eats her peas one at a time, she once dated his archrival Newman, she never laughs, she has a strange-sounding laugh, she refuses to try a piece of pie, or simply that she’s “too good,” Jerry can find a reason to break up with even the most seemingly perfect woman.

Challenge... finding true intimacy. Jerry is cordial, friendly and funny with most everyone he meets, but getting past the pleasant exterior to the real person underneath would be a feat worthy of Jerry’s idol, Superman. Then again, maybe there’s nothing deeper to find. As Elaine once (kinda) joked to him, “Just when I think you’re the shallowest man I’ve ever met, you somehow manage to drain a little more out of the pool.” 

Personality... humorous, upbeat, but a tad superficial. Jerry floats through life making witty observations from a distance while trying not to get too involved, but he’s generally the master of his domain. When someone suggests that one of these days something terrible is going to happen to him, like it does to virtually everyone else on Earth at some point, Jerry calmly replies, “No, I’m going to be just fine.” And you know what? He’s probably right.