Jefferson D'Arcy

Grew up… to be a lazy, narcissistic “pretty boy” who wants to skate through life on his good looks alone. Jefferson will do just about anything to avoid having a job, including putting up with his demanding (though affluent) wife Marcy.

Living… under the thumb of his controlling wife. Despite his swagger, Jefferson knows that he has to play by her rules. He goes to extreme lengths to prove his manliness and independence to his friends, especially his neighbor Al Bundy. Here’s one of Jefferson’s gems: “Just last month, I stopped payment on the storage locker that Marcy has a lease on downtown, took the money and went to the horse race track to gamble it all away. Now, does that sound like a man who’s afraid of his wife?”

Profession… none. Jefferson gave up bartending when he struck it rich with Marcy. He hopes he’ll never have to work again.

Interests… spending time at his other home, which he keeps secret from Marcy. Jefferson needs a little bachelor pad to escape to every now and then. As he describes it, “Mirror ball on the ceiling, water bed on the floor, fake medical degrees on the wall. Oh God, I have fun at that place.”

Relationship Status… married to Marcy. Jefferson likes married life well enough, so long as he can blow off steam at the local strip club.

Challenge… putting up with his demanding wife. He enjoys the security that his arrangement brings him; all he has to do is withstand Marcy’s haughty personality. It’s a reasonable trade-off.

Personality… vain, narcissistic, and lazy. Jefferson tends to be rude and crude when he’s around his friends and fellow members of the anti-women organization “NO MAAM.” (National Organization of Men Against Amazonian Masterhood.) He has a bad habit of mouthing off about his wife in obscene ways, such as, “Having sex with a pregnant woman is like putting gas in a car you just wrecked.” Frankly, Jefferson and Marcy deserve each other.