Hamilton 'Ham' Porter

Growing Up… in the 1960s in an American suburb. Things are simple. All you’d have to do to start a big fight was tell someone, “You play ball like a girl!” Then you’d spend the next day following up the challenge with a baseball tournament to see who’s right. It was a time where not everything needed to make sense. You could just be a kid.

Living… his dream. When he’s not in school, he’s playing a never-ending game of baseball. When he’s not playing ball, he’s out at the carnival or watching fireworks on the Fourth of July. And possibly his favorite haunt of all is the local public pool, where he flirts with the ladies and shows off his epic cannonball abilities. 

Profession... middle school student. It’s mostly something to do between ballgames.

Interests… Babe Ruth, cannonballs, and ‘smores. Porter takes pride in teaching the new kid Smalls how to make a ‘smore: “First you take the graham, you stick the chocolate on the graham. Then you roast the 'mallow. When the 'mallow’s flaming... you stick it on the chocolate. Then cover with the other end. Then you scarf.”

Relationship Status… still single (and young). While Squints certainly shows some interest in local girls, he usually drenches them with water right after complimenting them. He’ll learn.

Challenge… helping Smalls get back his Babe Ruth-autographed ball from beyond the sandlot, where an allegedly man-eating dog known as “The Beast” lurks and claims all lost balls. Porter might not be the bravest of the kids, but he’s game when it comes to helping out with the intricate retrieval plans.

Personality… confident and loud-mouthed. Porter gets into a lot of fights; he’s ready to throw down when the heat gets hot. He even picks on Smalls a bit too much, flabbergasted when he learns that Smalls doesn’t Babe Ruth from Bambi: “That wimpy deer?!” To Porter, there’s nothing more blasphemous than mistaking Babe Ruth for anything less than a legendary hero. And really, he has a point.