Glenn Quagmire

Living… a life guided by his sexual addiction in Qhahog, R.I. Quagmire doesn’t really care who (or what) is available for sex; he’s always willing to push the boundaries of the sexual frontier. This often puts him in compromising positions: “Hello, 9-1-1? It’s Quagmire. Yeah, it’s caught in the window this time.”

Profession… airline pilot. Quagmire is a throwback to the misogynistic playboys of the 1950s and ‘60s. He loves his job because of his proximity to flight attendants. It also helps that, at 30,000 feet in the air, they have nowhere to run from his incessant come-ons.

Interests… sex. Quagmire lives for the ladies. One can tell that he’s excited because he’ll use his signature catch phrases “All riiight” or “giggity giggity.” Actually, Quagmire’s pretty much always excited.

Relationship Status… single. Quagmire prefers to keep himself totally commitment-free so that he can go out to the local tavern, The Drunken Clam, and pick up a new hottie every single night. Well, “hottie” is less a necessity than “warm body.” As he once toasted, “Here’s to the Drunken Clam, where they don’t ask for proof of age, and neither do I.”

Challenge… recovering from his sex addiction. It’s easy for an addict to put their fix before relationships, and Quagmire is in constant danger of compromising his friendship with his neighbor Peter Griffin by forever pursuing Peter’s wife, Lois. He also frequently checks whether the Griffin’s homely teen daughter Meg has reached the age of consent. Hey, you can never have too many irons in the fire.

Personality… entertaining, butpathetic, and silly. Quagmire is full of cheap pick-up lines such as “You must be a parking ticket, cuz you’ve got ‘fine’ written all over you” that annoy more than they arouse. It’s a wonder that such tactics ever work, but Glenn should at least be given credit for tremendous persistence. Still, that probably won’t fly as a legal defense if it ever comes to it – and it might.