George Bluth Sr.

Living… in luxury in Newport Beach, Calif., with his wife Lucille. Unfortunately, some of that luxury was allegedly acquired by looting the Bluth Company’s coffers. O.K., more “definitely” than “allegedly.”

Visiting... a Southern California prison. He barely gets to see his family anymore, which isn’t all bad. The good thing is he’s got connections on the inside, allowing him run the family business from behind bars. The bad thing is how hard it is to play an extended game of strip poker in jail. They can really only play about two hands until it’s over.

Profession… real estate mogul. It all started in 1953 when, as the show’s unseen narrator put it, “George Sr. started selling a novelty item called ‘the frozen banana.’ Business boomed and George Sr. parlayed his success into a huge real estate empire” – the Bluth Company. Unfortunately, the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission finally caught up to his “creative accounting practices,” and now he’s facing serious prison time.

Interests… at the moment, religious salvation. The isolation of prison caused George to reevaluate his relationship with God, or so he claims. He’s started seriously studying Judaism, developing a video series entitled “Caged Wisdom.” It’s a way for him to spread the word of God --  and make an easy buck while he’s stuck here. In that way his religious studies fit with his overarching interest in running money-making scams.

Relationship Status… in a marriage of inconvenience. He’s been married to Lucille for decades, but love hasn’t been a part of the equation for years. Sometimes he’s really thankful to have her, though. Like when he got arrested, he handed over the reins of the company to her, since they can’t arrest a husband and wife for the same crime. That is a law, right?

Challenge… getting out of prison and retaining as much of his assets as possible. He’s being indicted for defrauding investors and using company funds for personal ends. Basically, he hid debt and overstated his earnings, but he says it’s only because he puts family first. Hopefully the court buys it.

Personality… selfish, unloving, and needy. His children never got any positive reinforcement from him. His neglect has manifested itself in each of them, but George Sr. isn’t too remorseful about it. He’s given them a comfortable life, yet all they’ve caused him is discomfort. Now they can repay him.