Danny Donahue

Living… at the end of his rope. The depressed Danny feels stuck in his life and is haunted by all the things he hasn’t accomplished. This feeling has only grown more pronounced since his girlfriend, Beth, moved out of the home they shared for seven years.

Profession… energy drink salesman. Danny tours high schools around the city with his partner Wheeler, relentlessly promoting the energy drink, “Minotaur,” and telling kids to stay off drugs. Danny hates his job – he summarizes the company’s mission as “selling kids nuclear horse piss for six bucks a can."

Relationship Status… freshly single. Danny was in a long-term relationship with his girlfriend, Beth, but she just left him. She was everything Danny could want — smart, beautiful, successful, and genuinely interested in Danny’s happiness. Unfortunately, things fell apart when Danny’s formerly endearing cynicism intensified and transformed into a much more debilitating depression.

Challenge… performing 150 hours of mandated community service. Danny was sentenced to the community service after he snapped during a Minotaur presentation, told kids “life was pain” and then drove the Minotaur truck into a statue while trying to escape a tow-truck. Faced with the choice of spending 30 days in jail or 150 hours mentoring young kids, Danny and Wheeler decided to try their hands at improving the lives of the nation’s youth. It isn’t going to be easy – Danny has been matched with Augie Farques, a socially awkward teenager who is obsessed with live-action roleplaying.

Personality… miserable. Danny’s on the wrong side of 30 and feels that he has nothing to show for his life. He’s continually pessimistic and sarcastic, and finds himself enraged by petty things — even something as simple as the nonsensical name of a Starbuck’s drink. Still, despite his depressing outlook on the world, Danny is hilarious. He’s a blunt smartass with a quick wit and no respect for authority. While everything seems like a joke to him, he takes his relationship with Beth seriously, and struggles to find a way to convey the depth of his affection.