Dale Arbus

Living… in an apartment with his fiancé, Stacey.

Profession… dental assistant. While the work itself isn’t too bad, Dale’s job is still kind of a nightmare. He’s blatantly sexually harassed by his boss, a nymphomaniac with no sense of boundaries. She even drugged him, took compromising photos of them, and told him she’d show Stacey the photos unless he slept with her. Dale would love to just quit his job, but a drunken decision to pee near a playground marked him as a sex offender. No one else will hire him.

Interests… watching Law and Order. Dale is such a passionate fan of the show that he believes that he knows as much, if not more, than most lawyers.

Relationship status… happily engaged. Dale and Stacey are nauseatingly in love, and spend most of their time doting on each other. As a lifelong romantic Dale is thrilled that he’s finally found the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with.

Challenge… killing his boss. He can deal with the constant sexual advances, but blackmailing him to betray Stacey is more than Dale can take. He gets together with his best friends, Kurt Buckman and Nick Hendricks, and they hatch a scheme to murder each other’s bosses. Under the questionable guidance of a “murder consultant” named Motherf-cker Jones, the trio sets about committing a less than perfect crime.

Personality… sweet, awkward, and loyal. Dale Arbus is a romantic, gentle spirit and derives almost all of his happiness from his relationship with Stacey. Excitable and maybe a little dumb, he’s the least reliable of the group, and panics is stressful situations. Despite his long list of flaws, his good-hearted nature is so readily apparent that it’s impossible to call him a bad friend – although it’s very possible to call him a bad conspirator/murderer.