Boris Grushenko

Grew Up… in a small village in Russia. Boris has been a meek man ever since childhood. He was probably the only bespectacled redhead in 18th century Russia.

Living… through a tumultuous time for “mother Russia.” The Napoleonic Wars have wreaked havoc on Boris’s great nation, but he doesn’t exactly want to step up and help. Rather than fight, Boris wants to run away. In his words, “We have to take our possessions and flee. I’m very good at that. I was the men’s freestyle fleeing champion two years in a row.”

Visiting… the battlefield. Boris has begrudgingly agreed to go to war. While he claims to be an idealistic “pacifist,” he is more accurately a coward. “Yes, but I’m a militant coward!” he says in his defense.

Profession… soldier. Boris unwittingly goes from a bumbling recruit to a decorated war hero. He hopes that his brilliant military career will help him woo his beautiful cousin, Sonja.

Relationship Status… in love with Sonja, his cousin twice removed. Boris would do anything to be with her, including risking his own life. As he puts it, “The key here, I think, is to… to not think of death as an end, but think of it as a very effective way of cutting down on your expenses.”

Challenge… assassinating Napoleon. Boris and Sonja develop a plan to end the horrible wars threatening mother Russia by assassinating the terrible man himself. Though Boris knows it won't be easy: “He’s a great man. He thinks like the superman, and I’m just a worm, an insect… some kind of crawling, disgusting, creeping little vermin!”

Personality… bumbling, cowardly, and accident-prone. Even after his successful military career, Boris remains inept.