Beanie Campbell
Photo Credit: Everett Collection

Beanie Campbell

Old School

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About Him

Living… with his wife and two kids. But Beanie appears to spend most of his time hanging with his college buddies Mitch Martin and Frank “The Tank” Ricard at Mitch’s new house near Harrison University. Beanie treats Mitch’s place as if it were his own. He uses it to throw a massive party he dubs “Mitch-a-Palooza,” and he proclaims it the spiritual epicenter of Lambda Epsilon Omega, a revolutionary new non-exclusive fraternity that promises to “give nothing back to the academic community, and provide no public service of any kind.”

Profession… proud owner and founder of Speaker City. It is quite possible that Beanie loves Speaker City more than life itself. It is his baby. He raised it from a lone, humble electronics store into a robust, profitable enterprise with six locations. Beanie’s worth three and a half million dollars – that the government knows about. He is a savvy businessman who never misses an opportunity to promote Speaker City, and can usually be identified by his red Speaker City polo.

Interests… pimping Speaker City, planning frat parties, giving Mitch and Frank unsolicited advice, and Snoop Dogg. But mostly pimping Speaker City.

Relationship Status… married to his wife, Lara. Though their relationship appears to be reasonably functional, Beanie harbors serious doubts about the concept of marriage and savors the freedoms of the fraternity lifestyle. As groomsman at Frank’s wedding, he urges Frank to flee the altar: “I got a wife, kids. Do I seem like a happy guy to you, Frankie? There’s my wife. Always smiling, judging, watching.”

Challenge… spearheading the formation of Lambda Epsilon Omega as a means to relive his own glory days. But when the smarmy and vindictive Dean Pritchard threatens the fraternity’s existence, Beanie must rise to the occasion and protect his compatriots who actually attend Harrison University from expulsion. That might even necessitate hitting the books, which he didn’t do much even when he was actually attending college. In fact, he confesses that he can barely read.

Personality... unsentimental, silver-tongued, with a dry sense of humor and innate ability to keep his cool in dicey situations. In these respects, Beanie is unlike Mitch and Frank. What they represent to him is an escape from the trappings of family life. And though he is a devoted dad, Beanie is careful to compartmentalize these two sides of his life. When he feels the need to swear in front of his son Max, for instance, he tells Max to cover his ears: “Earmuffs.” Then he can let the expletives fly.

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