Anson Wheeler

Living… his dreams. Wheeler loves his life. He’s in his mid-30s and has managed to avoid maturity and adult responsibility while he sleeps with hot women, works a low-stress job and gets to kick it with his best friend Danny.

Profession… salesman for Minotaur brand energy drinks. Wheeler drives around to high schools, dresses up in a Minotaur costume, and tells kids to drink energy drinks instead of doing drugs. His partner, Danny, is down on the whole enterprise and says they’re selling “poison to the nation’s youth,” but Wheeler doesn’t see it that way — he thinks he’s making the world a better place. Plus, the staff of Minotaur is full of hot, single women. It’s the best job ever.

Interests… sex and rock and roll. Wheeler spends most of his free time trying to have sex with as many women as possible, but when that’s not possible he enjoys listening to his favorite band, Kiss.

Relationship status… happily single. Wheeler’s motto is “hit it and quit it.” Other guys his age might have started to look for something serious, but Wheeler can’t imagine enjoying life any other way.

Challenge… completing 150 hours of mandatory community service. Danny had a bad day, freaked out during their Minotaur presentation, and ended up “driving a car that looks like a bull into a statue of a horse.” Faced with either spending 30 days in jail or doing 150 hours of community service, they picked what they thought was the easier option. But Wheeler has been matched with the troublesome Ronnie, a foul-mouthed young boy who has driven all his previous mentors away in less than a day.

Personality… laidback, funny, and happy-go-lucky. Wheeler doesn’t take anything too seriously, and doesn’t see the point in living if you aren’t going to have fun. He’s a good and loyal friend to his coworker Danny, even though Danny denies that the two are friends. A little dim-witted, but blessed with a big heart and a great attitude, Wheeler breezes through the world with a special kind of effortless happiness.